Hijab, Niqab, Compulsion and Religious Change.

A beautiful fatwa by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

http://qa.sunnipath.com/issue_view.asp?HD=1&ID=1328&CATE=88

I loved the whole thing, but the part that is relevant to all of us–both brothers and sisters, is the end, where the shaykh discusses the problem with trying to fix others before we fix ourselves. When people first get into the deen, they’re PASSIONATE and emotional, which is masha Allah great, but sometimes shaitan uses that passion and stirs it the wrong way (i.e. makes us yell at our dads for not having beards, or our moms for not wearing hijab, etc.) And shaitan uses that to make all those who you’re yelling at put up a barrier between themselves and islam. And why wouldn’t it, right? I mean look at the hypocrisy. Telling others to desist from haram while doing haram yourself (i.e. raising your voice with your parents).

Alhamdulillah when I started practicing, my cousin Tauqeer warned me about this stuff. He’d gone through it all a couple of years before me. It seems like common sense, but I really think if he hadn’t told me, I would be a lot more hostile in the house, and a lot less likable. Your passion and anger that you’ve been doing the wrong thing for so many years drives you to think you need to do the right thing and make every one else do the right thing, by any means possible.

But subhanAllah look at the last line of the fatwa:

“Had they only worked on themselves, their light would have shown others the way without much need for words.”

That’s incredibly true. If you’re the only practicing one in your family, and it’s been years, think about why that may be. Of course, Allah guides whom He wills, but are you being harsh in the way you deal with others? Are you not focusing on yourself, and therefore your light is too dim to lead the way for anyone else?  This is a wake up call for myself before anyone else.

When we die, the physical will all disappear and the soul will be all that remains. Think about all the time we spend perfecting our physical appearance while we completely ignore the soul. And yet we were given bodies just to borrow, so that our souls could live on earth. They have no importance, but a mere container for what’s inside.

Imagine giving your friend a present. It’s a beautifully wrapped box with ribbons and bows, and when she finally opens it, there’s a dead rat in the box whose odor is unbareable.

Now imagine giving your friend a beautiful diamond ring wrapped in like, looseleaf paper and tape.

Which gift do you think she’ll appreciate more?  Like how much does the case really matter?

Think about it, what are you going to present to Allah?  A beautiful case with something disgusting inside?  Astaghfirullah. 

You may argue that the best gift is the one which is itself beautiful and also comes in a beautiful case. You’re probably right, which is why Islamically we’re not supposed to completely ignore the physical. We have to take care of ourselves, our health, our hygiene, etc. We shouldn’t wear rags, etc. but if you just reflect upon the amount of time and effort we spend on perfecting the physical, and the lack thereof in regards to the heart…you’ll see how ridiculous it really is.

It’s like walking into a store and picking up the first thing you see and crumbling it and putting it into your shopping cart, and then taking 6 hours to find the perfect box, wrapping paper and bows.

But isn’t that what we do when we spend the whole day at the mall? We’re shopping for our cover, we’re taking care of the box– but what’s inside is ugly and worthless.

I loved the comment Shaykh Ninowy made when he came to Stony Brook in March: “Give your soul a pizza!” haha because that’s exactly what we need to do. Our stomachs are full but our souls are starved.

And when we die, nothing’s going to count but our deeds. All the time and effort we spent doing things that did not make heavy our scale with good deeds, will have gone in vain, or worse, made heavy our scale with sins.

The Prophet saws said, as reported in Sahih Muslim on the authority of Abu Hurairah rAa :

“Verily Allah does not look to your bodies nor to your faces but He looks to your hearts”

Let us all, myself especially, take more seriously the nurturing of the soul.

Some practical suggestions on how to start:

• Block off time in your schedule to read Qur’an. If you haven’t read any Qur’an in years and are now planning to start reading a juz a day, this will likely be difficult for you. Work at a pace that you know you can keep. ‘Aisha rAa reported that the Prophet saws was asked, “What deeds are loved most by Allah?” He said, “The most regular constant deeds even though they may be few.” He added, ‘Don’t take upon yourselves, except the deeds which are within your ability.” (Sahih Bukhari)  So start with maybe a page a day (or more if you can), and then work your way up. Maybe every week, you can increase a page. But no matter what happens, read your page! The Qur’an used to be broken up into 7 manzil, and people would read a manzil a day and finish the whole Qur’an in a week. Then the Qur’an was divided into 30 juz, and it was expected that the muslims would read a juz a day and finish the Qur’an in a month. In fact, there was a fatwa written at the time, stating that he who did not finish reading the Qur’an within a month, had left the fold of Islam (as this was regarded as a minimum). SubhanAllah and look how far we are from that. (Note: If you do not know correct pronunciation of Qur’an/tajweed, brother or sister, contact me! I know definite ways you can learn including one-on-one classes over the phone–for free!)
• Don’t let yourself miss any prayers throughout the day. Don’t say, “I’ll make it up”.  People for some reason think that if they have class or are studying for an exam or something, it’s ok, and they can make up the prayer later. It’s really not ok. You still have the sin for missing the prayer..even if you make it up. You don’t say “I have class today, so I’m not going to eat.” Nor do you say, “I have to study this week, so I’m not going to shower”. So take care of the permanent in the same way you would take care of the temporary.
• Give sadaqa. We’re poor college students, no doubt. But the benefits of giving sadaqa are IMMENSE. And Allah swt has promised us it will all be returned to us. So whether it be a quarter a day or a few dollars, try to make it a regular thing. Once a day? Once a week? etc.
• Fast one Monday and one Thursday of every month.  The sunnah is to fast every Monday and Thursday, and the 13th, 14th and 15th of every month. If you can do that, excellent, alhamdulillah! But be careful and do things you know you can keep constant.
• Use the time when you’re walking to class or driving to work.  Do dhikr.  Say SubhanAllahi wa bihamdihi SubhanAllahil ‘adheem as much as you can. Do istighfar at least 70 times. etc etc
• Keep a chart (in your planner maybe) and tally your daily sins and good deeds. When you notice what type of sins you commit most often, make a firm resolve to desist from one of these sins a week. And make sure that every day, the amount of good deeds you do outweigh the amount of sins you committed.
• Take the time to greet the people you meet with love and sincerity. Look them in the eye and shake their hands warmly (brothers to brothers, sisters to sisters obviously lol). When someone gives you salaam, return it with a better salaam (i.e. if they say Assalaamualaikum, say wa alaikum assalaam warehmatullah, etc.) And always say yarhamukAllah when someone sneezes and says Alhamdulillah. This is a right your brother/sister has over you.
• Lower your gaze. Sometimes that isn’t so self explanatory. This means, for example, that guys, should not be looking at girls, at the ‘awrah of guys (like those short short wearing guys in the summer! lol), at billboards of beautiful women, at Victoria’s Secret catalogues, at a couple crossing the lines of PDA, at tempting commercials, tv shows, etc. Yes. Lowering your gaze doesn’t just apply when they can see you. So yes, facebook counts. And yes sisters, Victoria’s Secret catalogues aren’t for us either.

There’s of course sooo much more we could do, but I don’t want to make a list of 100 things and then be a hypocrite and follow none of them myself.

Please keep me and my family in your du’aas.      Assalaamualaikum warehmatullah